Pantsings, underwear and sexuality, and more…

So, I had a late-night chat with a young man who has just left high school and is preparing for college. This chat raised many new questions and helped me to learn about myself a little more.

We’ll start out with the reason he tried to chat with me, and that was the fact that he had been somewhat bullied and harassed by his choice in underwear, of all things! It seem in the US there is a stigma in regards to wearing ‘tight whities’ and as a result, some of the other guys at school and including a teacher decided to make fun of him because of it. Underwear! When I started this blog, I never really cared much about underwear at all. I just thought I could provide some answers to questions, at home in my underwear, which is how I spend most of my time at home.

Well, it seems that underwear is important to a lot of people. Some people are turned on by women in underwear, guys in underwear, wearing women’s underwear etc. etc. And most shocking of all, it is apparently important what kind of underwear a young guy decides to wear. Why this is anyone else’s business or reason for ridicule is beyond me. I simply do not understand the stigma attached to wearing some white briefs. He stopped wearing briefs, not because of a choice, but because of peer pressure–there’s peer pressure, to drink, smoke, do drugs, and now to wear underwear haha It all seems so crazy to me. Anyway, this young man read one of my earlier posts and decided that he would proudly wear briefs again because he found them to be most comfortable and also because he does derive some pleasure from briefs. I also hadn’t realized nor understood this pleasure in terms of men’s underwear, before writing this blog. So, I’m learning things left and right! In the immortal words of Michelangelo “Ancora Imparo” which translates to, “I’m still learning” or “I’m always learning”, depending on the translation. Not only am I learning about others, but I’m also learning about myself–which I will come back to later.

Now the second thing this young man and I spoke about is the fact that he does not consider himself to be gay, but he becomes sexually aroused by wearing and seeing other guys in their underwear (his preference is white briefs). Now, I am not a professional, but I consider myself to be an observer of people. As such, I try to learn about people, who they are, and why they are the way that they are. In my life, I’ve come to realize that there are many different degrees of sexuality–it is certainly not just straight, gay, and bisexual (some even believe that bisexuality does not truly exist); I will tackle bisexuality now as an example. Many claim that ‘bisexuality is a stopover on the way to Gayville’. That may be true and it may not be, but what i do believe is that one’s sexuality can shift or morph into something different. While I believe that people are born MOSTLY gay or straight, I also believe that experience can alter this one way or the other. This is why I believe that nature and nurture both play a role in developing sexualities. So, when people identify themselves as bisexual, their experiences could push them to either end of the sexuality spectrum, or it could keep them hovering around the middle as bisexual. As a side note, I recently became aware of those who are asexual and although I had heard of its existence, I came across someone who is asexual–I don’t know much about this, I will do my research and if anyone has any knowledge, please add me and share. Overall, I believe that it is not necessary to identify ones self under any particular label, nor do I think it’s anyone else’s business to inquire. As long as you’re safe and responsible, not hurtful of anyone or anything, I believe everyone is different and that’s ok. To label ourselves if we’re unsure, is unnecessary and instead of everyone being inclusive, I believe it can cause isolation. So, until you determine who you are, if that ever even happens, it is no one else’s business. Allow yourself to be open to new experiences, I have and I will continue to be until I die.

Since I began this blog, I have chatted with hundreds of people. Some have been short chats, some longer, and some have gone on over a long period of time. Some have even caused discomfort because the experience has been more that I am comfortable with at the time. I have been mostly heterosexual my entire life, with 99% heterosexual experiences. However, I have chatted with many guys and as I am completely comfortable with myself, I have shown my briefs…and even more :O!! haha I’ve found that getting to know a new person can be an amazing experience in every way and I have learned that seeing me in my underwear can be a turn on for some guys. That has, in turn, become a bit of a turn on for me in some ways. I realize that I get turned on by the fact that others are turned on by me and by the attention. I also get a little turned on by teasing some guys. I admit it. Although I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it at first, I even jerked off on cam for a guy who I felt kind of pressured by. That discomfort made me feel a little objectified and I did not want to chat with any guys for a while, so I didn’t. Anyway, I’ve come to realize that it’s all OK. I wasn’t really uncomfortable with jerking off with another guy on cam, (I figured what the hell, it’s an experience) it was the pressure to do it again and again. I’m a very sexual guy and I realize that I get turned on by so many things and there’s nothing wrong with that, so under the right circumstances, who knows, I might do it again.

Back to my new young friend. Although he didn’t  enjoy the bullying and harassing, these guys would occasionally pants him to his briefs, and he now looks to those pantsings and is turned on by the memories, and enjoys seeing other guys embarrassed and vulnerable in their briefs. I hadn’t thought about it in years, but I had a very embarrassing pantsing story from high school that, in retrospect, was a bit of a turn on. When I was in high school (it was an all-boys school in the 90’s), most guys wore briefs where I was from, and mostly coloured (myself included and still do). I had just had P.E., it was lunchtime and everyone was in the main hallway that I was walking through. I was walking from the gym to my locker with all of my books in my arms and still in my sweats (I’m sure you can guess where this is going). A friend came up behind me, and pulled down my sweat pants, I was wearing red bikini briefs. I had an armful of books which I had to put down to pull up my pants. About 50-100 guys (including teachers) saw me, pointed and laughed. It was one of the most humiliating experiences and guys from my high school days still joke about it, but I got a little turned on thinking about it last night when I recalled the story.

I never would have ever expected something like underwear, which I never really thought of, as becoming such a big part of my online life–its kind of spiralled into something completely unexpected. It’s also changed me as a person, when I think about the many things that make up the psyche. I could go on for hours, but I will save all of that for another post.

Be safe and be well!

Kind regards,

Connor