Long absences mean not much time.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to do any work on this blog. Really busy with work and so on. In any case, I’d like your help with suggestions or questions etc. If you have anything you want advice about, let me know. If there is something you’d like to see, let me know.

I do have one question that someone asked and I will share my advice. The question was:

Q:I will be having a reunion of sorts, and I know there is someone that will be there, that I was really mean to (I kind of bullied him) and I have felt bad about it since then. Should I apologise?

A: Well, first off, you don’t really know the effect the bullying had on this guy. You have to take that into consideration before you decide to try to clear your conscience. Secondly, are you truly sorry enough to go one step further and prove how sorry you are? Third, have you taken into consideration the fact that you don’t know what his reaction will be. You obviously didn’t think about consequences when you bullied this poor guy, and I am not even interested in knowing why you bullied him and for how long. But, by asking this question, you’re clearly showing some remorse.

My advice is to not apologize immediately for your wrong-doing, go up to the guy and talk to him. Ask him how he is, show interest in his life, and encourage him in his endeavors, even if you don’t think they’re worthwhile. Take the time to sit down with him, he’ll see that you’re trying to make it up to him. While you’re talking with him, gauge  his reaction to your interest. Some people simply do not want to re-live those painful memories, and they’d prefer to bury them in the past and let them stay there. Others might be very angry about what happened, but by showing interest, it softens them a little bit. You’re showing him that you’ve changed, just as I’m sure he has too. Another thing is to follow-up with him somehow, maybe give him your number or add him to facebook or something. Finally, if you feel the situation is ok, then apologise sincerely. Don’t make excuses, simply say “I am sorry for anything I said and/or did to you in the past. I hope you can forgive me.”  If you genuinely are sorry, contact him occasionally and say Hi or Hope all is well. Things like that go a long way.

Anyway, I hope that is helpful, if you agree or disagree, let me know. Thanks and take care!

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