Should I tell the cheatEE about the cheatER

I’m sure everyone has been in this situation before:

You know one spouse is cheating on the other spouse or someone tells you that THEY know someone who is cheating on his/her spouse. What do you do in that situation?***

Do you tell the cheatee about it? Well, let’s put it this way: I have known about so many of these situations happening before, and do you know who the person is that loses? It’s the person who tells the cheatee about it. ALWAYS! They get told things like, “Mind your own business.” Or, “Why are you doing this to me?” Yes, “YOU” can you believe that? First off, no one wants to be cheated on and if they don’t know about it, then they’re going to feel devastated and humiliated that someone knew before them, whether or not you tell them. So, what happens to the person who tells? They eventually get pushed away by the person who was cheated on, the cheater or both. Also, more often than not, the couple stay together and try to work on it and you are just a reminder of what happened.  If you want to risk that for your morals, and because it’s the right thing to do,  that’s your choice. But, be prepared for the consequences. If they do stop talking to you, well you are probably better off without them and their drama anyway.

What if I don’t tell? Well, if you don’t tell, the cheatee will eventually find  out about the affair anyway and you can be there as a shoulder to cry on, but under no circumstances do you reveal that you knew about it.

What if they find out that I knew and didn’t say anything, well, the outcome will be the exact same as if you did tell them.

So, either way, the person who knows about the affair seems to end up being seen more as Public Enemy #1 than the cheater him/herself.

So, it’s your choice. If the cheatee never knows, it’s one horrible situation that they don’t have to deal with. Hopefully, the cheater will do  the right thing on his/her own and things will eventually work out for everyone concerned.

***If the cheatee is family or has been your best friend for most of your life, all other rules do not apply.  Tell the cheater to tell the cheatee, or you will do it yourself. There are no exceptions in this situation, you’re too close to the situation, not to do anything. They would do it for you, right? Relations this close almost always come around eventually.***

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