Well, Ricky Martin came out of the closet. Some say, “It’s about time!” Others, well others are a little more understanding, and of course there are those who are not at all understanding.
Ricky Martin wrote a beautifully written ‘coming out’ notice to the public. In it, he explained how he has reached the point in his life that made him feel it was the right time. He said he is happy now and hints to the fact that his homosexuality was a dark cloud hanging over the light that came from his two sons. Good for Ricky, I say. But, it was HIS time.
Most of the accounts of people who decide to shed this skin, do so at a time that they feel ready to do so. However, it may or may not be the right time for you. I believe that most people who are gay are surrounded by people who know they’re gay. They know they’re gay, and they know everyone knows they’re gay. So, why don’t they just tell people already, and get it over with? I don’t believe it’s that simple. Imagine this, your entire life you do your best to fit in and be like everyone else. It’s easy for them. They have girlfriends if they’re guys, and they have boyfriends if they’re girls. They will date, party with their friends, go to prom with their boyfriends and girlfriends. They have their first loves and they kiss in public and they think that they could never love anyone as much as they love their boyfriends and girlfriends and they tell EVERYONE that! Take all of that joy away and you have gay teens. They endure that, then they go to college. The same things happen, they watch their friends with their boyfriends and girlfriends, making out everywhere, practically having sex on the dance floor. You might have a ‘beard’ boyfriend or girlfriend, but you know it’s not right for you. Again, take away all of the joy and happiness that comes from the feelings that most people take for granted and now, you have a gay college student. People wonder why so many gay people commit suicide, I think the reasons are obvious. So many have never experienced happiness before, how can they be truly happy when they have told themselves that they are not allowed to love the way they really want to love?
Time moves on, you have a job and it’s the kind of job you cannot share your sexuality, again, more reason to stay in the closet. Only now, so many years have passed and the closet is getting darker and darker and your lies are starting to suffocate you and then someone throws you a life ring and hint that it’s ok to tell them. Of course you don’t tell them right away, but there is now a sliver of light coming through that door. You surround yourself with good people, people who you know won’t care if you’re gay or not, you feel the time is almost right. Then you go online and start chatting with other gay people and after hearing their stories, you begin to feel empowered and perhaps it’s the right time. You test the waters, maybe saying you’re bisexual, are they ok with that? Some more time passes and you meet someone, you date them, fall in love and now you are happy and you want to share it with those you care about. So you do. Their reaction is just as you thought it would be, support. I believe in this day and age that most people you surround yourself with will fully support you. Some might feel strange at first, it’s an adjustment for them, just as it is for you. Don’t blame them, support them just as they did you.
I believe this story is common in many people who are deciding when to come out. Of course, some people might be younger and living in the right circumstances to foster their coming out. Or, it might be a 60 year old who has lived in the closet for so long they finally need to break free and find happiness and love. In any case, I feel it is important to support those who want to come out. If you suspect someone might be gay, don’t come out and ask them if they’re gay, if they haven’t told you already, they’re not ready. Show them support, talk about how cool it is that Ricky Martin came out of the closet and how you wish that gay people could feel the happiness that he is feeling.
If you’re looking for support to come out and you want to test the waters, bring up the fact that Ricky Martin came out, see how people react and go from there.
If you’re not ready to come out of the closet, don’t do it. Don’t force it until it is the right time for you. I believe it will happen when it is meant to and not a minute too soon or too late. You will know. It’s not about how others will react, chances are, most people will be supportive. My ultimate advice, tell your good friends first, then gage the right time to tell your parents. It will be several steps. Also, understand the fact that this will not be all about you despite what you may believe. It will affect your loved ones and they deserve the respect and understanding that you want for yourself.
Good luck in your journey, I wish you all the best!
Wow, that’s pretty cool. Thanks for swinging by and checking me out. It’s only been two weeks since I started, but 1000 visitors is great! Thanks all! If you have any questions want any advice about anything, let me know! Two thumbs up to all of you!
Which choice of underwear do you prefer? Do you prefer guys with balding or thinning hair (do you think a little hair is better than none) or do you think that a shaved head is sexier? Check out my previous posts for more information.
At 8:30pm I will be turning off our lights, unplugging all of our appliances and doing our part to help the earth in a very small way. But, the more small things we all do, the more it will add up. We do out best to conserve electricity and water as much as possible. Do we do enough? Probably not. What do you do to do your part?
Q: I’ve started to lose my hair, what are my options? What do you think I should do?
A: Well, I hate to disappoint you, but, even despite all of the technology we have in 2010, there still appears to be no ‘cure’ for losing your hair. I like to think of going bald as more highly evolved, but that’s just because I too suffer from the same affliction. There are also very few acceptable choices when dealing with losing your hair.
First, there are hair implants. If you get them, no matter where you are, no matter what you do, you will forever be known as the guy who got implants. People know it’s not your hair and eventually, it becomes a very costly embarrassment. Really. There is a definite stigma attached to those who get implants. The usual result, most people don’t look at you as more handsome, they tend to see guys who get implants as ‘sad’ and I’ve even heard the word ‘pathetic’ from some female friends. Don’t waste your money and save your shame. The only time this might be acceptable is if you are planning on relocating to another city or country and if you have the money, I say go for it. You can start a new life with a new head of hair.
Secondly, there is a temporary totally aesthetic way to do it without taking pills or going under the knife. If your is in the early processes of thinning, go to a hair salon and get natural looking highlights in your hair, the darker your hair, the more contrast there is against your scalp. If you lighten your hair a little, it gives the impression that your hair isn’t as thin as it actually is.
Third, we have the topical treatments that you put on your head. Sorry they don’t work and if they do work, they grow so little that no one can even tell. Don’t do it! Don’t waste your money!
Fourth, toupees and wigs……BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ’nuff said.
Fifth, the ever so lovely comb-over. It’s so chic, so avant-Gard ! No seriously, come on! Are you kidding? Why do men think that this is acceptable, stop clinging to what little hair you have.
Sixth, growing it out longer on top. It doesn’t work, it still looks thin, only now you have a ridiculous head of thin long hair. You look ridiculous, stop it!
Seventh and finally, the only real acceptable option. After a lot of thinking and humming and hawwing, I did it. I went out, bought hair clippers and set them on the closest setting and removed all of my hair. While my hair was thinning, I still had a fair amount of it but I knew it was just a matter of time. Don’t save the hair on the sides and the back, just clip it at the closest setting and then shave it if you like. I don’t have time to shave it as much as I would like, so I clip it every few days as my hair grows back VERY quickly. Since I did this, I have been told that I actually look five years younger. You see, we think of hair as something that makes us look younger. But, if you’re losing it, it actually makes you look ten years older than you are. Just take the leap! If you haven’t been getting many dates because your hair is thinning, shaving it is almost an immediate way to get dates and to boost your confidence as well. I am far more confident with a shaved or buzzed head than I was with my thinning hair. If you want to do it slowly, go and ask a salon to buzz it all to an inch or less and gradually get closer and closer.
If you want your confidence back, if you want to stop the shame and embarrassment, just shave your heads guys. I think every woman would agree. Think about Bruce Willis, he was thinning and after he shaved his head, women all over the world couldn’t stop saying how much sexier he is. If you’re a gay man, all the more reason to do it. Gay guys love bald heads!! May the force be with you! Empower yourselves, just take a deep breath and go cue ball!
Take the poll, if you’re a guy, choose which one you prefer. Ladies, choose which one you think is sexiest.
OK, so for those of you who are college students, university students,graduates, teachers and so on…now that spring break has come, you’re going to want to stay on your vacation high as long as possible. Now is the time to start planning for your upcoming summer vacation, it really is just around the corner and if you haven’t started saving, now is the time to do it. But, what should you save for? Where should you go?
The choice you make for your summer vacation is not an easy one. It’s the time of year when the cities are getting hotter and you may want to escape the heat, or you might want to go somewhere even hotter with great beaches. You might be finishing your first year of college, so you’re going to want to continue that first year vibe going and go to a party locale. It could be that you are graduating, and your tastes have become a little more sophisticated, but you’re still a little nostalgic for the college party scene. Finally, maybe you’re a young teacher and want to go somewhere to enjoy your summer off. The possibilities, as well as your options are endless.
The Caribbean for college/university students. You want cheap, fun and lots of sex, right? Go on a cruise to one of the less expensive ports of call. My advice to you, try Carnival cruise lines, look for short trips that go to Nassau, Bahamas. If it goes to Nassau, those of who worked on cruise ships know it as a party cruise. I didn’t work for Carnival, but it is definitely a party cruise line. Look for any cruise that offers an overnight stay in one of the ports. It gives you a variety of different ports to see and allows you to enjoy the amenities on the ship. It’s kind of the best of both worlds. Of course, if you really want to just party, get laid and save a lot of money. Road trip to anywhere that gives you what you want, Florida is always an option. You don’t actually get to see much, but really do you want to see anything other than the bar, your bed and the beach? Legal drinking age in Barbados and Antigua are 16 years old! Jamaica does not have a legal drinking age. Bahamas, Bermuda, British Virgin Islands, Costa Rica, St. Maarten, Trinidad and Tobago and of course Canada are all 18/19 and over to drink. If you’re in Europe, is there anywhere in the world better to party than Spain (Ibiza and Majorca)? I think not. If you’re 18-30, you HAVE to party in Ibiza!!!! You just HAVE to! One summer I caught the end of the party season in Ibiza and then headed to Munich for Oktoberfest. MY GOD!!! Helluvanamazing time (although, it’s a little bit after the summer)!! Ah, if you’re not American, I highly highly recommend Cuba.
OK so, you’re getting older and are past the party scene. A cruise, as I mentioned before is still a good choice. I would recommend not going on Carnival, too many partiers and too many kids. Go for Royal Caribbean’s summer vacation to Bermuda! You have one day to sail there, one day to sail back and the rest of the time you are anchored in Bermuda to come and go as you please. You have the best of both worlds as you can enjoy the entertainment onboard the ship, along with the food. Then, you have the freedom to come and go as you please from the ship 24 hours a day. It’s a great island, rent scooters for the week, explore and soon you will feel truly at home and never want to leave. I spent 2 entire summers in Bermuda, I loved every minute of it. It still feels like home away from home. Another option is South America. Buenos Aires is incredible and it’s like Europe without going to Europe in the summer, and their winter is the North American summer, so you can escape the stifling heat but still enjoy a great time. Of course, there is also a backpacking trip around Europe. Highly recommended, go with a friend or two, no more! Too many friends have too many choices about where to go and what to do. Keep your belongings safe. Budget for a private room in hostiles to have better insurance that your things won’t be stolen. I stayed with my friend in a communal room one night, and my Tag Heuer watch was stolen from my bag that was locked to my bed, just inches away from face. Not only was this the only time we stayed in a communal room, but it was the only time before or after that I forgot to lock my bag. I know, I was stupid. BTW don’t get too drunk in Europe for your own safety.
You’re getting older and you have more money to spend, but you want a relaxing vacation with no pressure. Spend the extra money to go to Thailand. When you get there, everything is dirt cheap, including accommodations and food and damn, the food is phenomenal!! Thailand is still even relatively safe enough to travel on your own. Not only that, but the people are wonderful.
If you want something different, and active and don’t mind getting away from the heat. But, you want to have a mix of both rugged nature and fine dining. Definitely go on an Alaskan cruise, there’s glacier hiking, kayaking etc. etc. There are virtually no people there partying, but the age is starting to go down so that there are people of all ages going on these cruises. On top of that, the home port for most cruiselines is usually Vancouver which is a phenomenally beautiful city to begin with. I have never heard of anyone complaining about their cruise to Alaska.
When I have time, I will sit down and do Part II asap. If you have any questions, let me know.